An Easier Way to Hold Boundaries During the Holidays

Press PLAY to listen to this post.

It’s always family fun at the holidays, right? In fact, it can be very stressful. Managing family dynamics (aka: power struggles) during the holidays is not usually on anyone’s wish list.

Here are 3 ways (I learned in yoga) to make it easier:

1. Set an intention. Just like we do at the beginning of a yoga class, get clear on what is most important for the event. What do you want from the day? Prepare yourself and your children by setting expectations and plan ahead for predictable situations to minimize stress. Communicate clearly so family members understand your goals.

2. What can you control? Only you. Your responses (not your reactions) to what others say or do. The power is in the pause. “What do you mean by ….” is one of my favorite responses, or “Tell me more about … I’m curious about your perspective.” Become an observer without judgment like we do in yoga. Simply notice what is happening inside and around us.

3. Let it go. Just like the leaves on the trees, let them fall. Release some of the pressure and acknowledge that it may not all go as you planned. Ask yourself, will this matter in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months or 5 years? Keep your composure (also learned in yoga), call out unwanted behavior kindly or remove yourself from the situation to get calm.

Remember people who don’t respect you all year long will not suddenly respect you at a holiday. Be mindful and practice setting boundaries - especially with grandparents. Helping others can also shift attention toward what matters most during the holidays. Donate to our annual diaper drive from November 17 to December 16 benefiting Homeless Prenatal Program.