The Best Way (3 Steps) to Calm Your Toddler

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Toddler tantrums are actually a developmental milestone for healthy brain development. Next time your toddler loses it in a major meltdown, remember it’s normal, so skip the guilt and embarrassment. You are doing just fine.

How you respond to a tantrum can either escalate it or help calm it down. Here’s your role in co-regulating, so ultimately, your child can self-regulate.

Calm Steady — In the moment of a tantrum, the best thing you can do is be calm. Don’t escalate. Don’t negotiate. It only makes it worse. Instead, be the warrior parent you are and keep your cool. Say ‘OK’ to your toddler’s feelings. “I hear that you are upset about not having…”

Stay Strong — Toddlers are not in control, but you are. They feel safe when you are consistent, predicable and they can trust you with their “big feelings.” When they are safe, they feel calm. Your job is to maintain the boundary. “We’ll have more…later.” (Be specific if you can about when.)

Yes Power — Hearing ‘no’ is no fun for anyone. Shifting to ‘yes’ to hold the boundary and guide your toddler into their age-appropriate power is ideal. “We’re going home now. Do you want to walk or hop? You choose.”

Try these 3 steps to help your toddler calm down the next time they have a meltdown. Let me know how they work for you. You can also get our free guide: 10 Terrific Tools To Handle Tantrums & Moods.