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The day after Thanksgiving marks the “official” beginning of the holiday season. The sight of sparkly lights and decorations, the sounds of seasonal music, and the smells and tastes of festive foods can create different feelings for us all—from downright dread to utmost delight.

I’m considering how our family will navigate the holidays this year—what matters (time together), and what doesn’t (appearances and material things). We can only control ourselves: how we meet the moment, and our level of presence through it all.

Here are 3 ways to make this season magical:

Manage your mindset - Go from toxic positivity to healthy optimism. Be genuine, authentic and real. Call it like you see it, but from the “glass is full” perspective. Give the benefit of the doubt and question the other when you’re not sure what they meant or if what they said or did landed badly. “Tell me more…” is always a good way to get more clarity.

Champion your choice - Say no thank you and disengage when you need time for you. Walk away. Take a double inhale with a long exhale because it’s the fastest way to calm the nervous system. Go to the bathroom like you did when you were a kid if your stomach hurt. Then come back with a voice or let it go. Ask yourself, “What is the next right action?”

Cherish the Magic- Love at full throttle: your partner, your kids, your brothers and sisters, your friends. Keep them close and love ‘em up! Savor the small moments and the big ones. Abandon the past and the future for the present moment. Indulge in goodness. So this holiday season notice, appreciate, and look for the goodness in others. Something as simple as a smile in your eyes, kindness in your voice, or patience in your posture — each of these little things can work magic.

P.S. Two tips for giving gifts: 1. give them what they asked for 2. give experiences (like yoga) vs. things. Enjoy!